What does it take to create and maintain a decent swinger party venue? The criteria vary as much as does the clientele. Even with the varying tastes of all who attend these parties and clubs there is several basic things that can make or break a new club from becoming prosperous. Having attended quite a few parties / clubs in the past we have come up with this simplified list of what to look for in a swinger venue.


The first in our list is “Who is in attendance?” because it is people who make parties not the facilities. Probably the biggest reason a swinger party flops no matter where it is being held is its inability to get its guests to participate. Sure enough of being able to draw a decent crowd for your first party, you will find that a good number aren’t interested in actual swinging. These numbers consist of the curious onlookers, and voyeurs usually led by the male half in a vain attempt to get their partner to swing or participate in his fantasy of some nature. Unfortunately it only takes a small amount of these types plus a few shy but otherwise real “new” couples to bring about a slow arduous death to your otherwise full venue. It’s hard to recover a party once the mood has been set afoul. Even the most seasoned of swingers can have their mood affected by this and your party numbers will start to dwindle quickly and all too early.
Next in our list is “How many are in attendance?” Although quite a few swinger parties take place with small numbers and are successful. The larger amount of people you have the more likely your party will have the right atmosphere, variety, and chemistry to be memorable in attendance. A small venue such as a house party can succeed with a small attendance where as a larger club like setting will resound with the sound of crickets as your meager amount of clientele parade out the door in boredom.
Another important requirement in making your party or club work is “A Balance of sexes”. The need for equal male to female ratio is usually paramount to success. In a larger party a single male may go un-noticed rather easily but in a smaller venue with small attendance they usually stick out like a sore thumb and can be a cause of disharmony for the few couples you have in attendance. Single females as we all know are “always” welcome to be around, although they are the unicorns of the lifestyle and rarely found at parties.
“Similar Values” being shared by your guests is another way to help your party succeed. Although swinging appears to be about the purely physical aspect it is usually shared by couples with similar value systems in place. Swinger’s do socialize prior to “hooking up” and usually at great length before deciding to move on to sex. Introductions are made and values are discussed either consciously or unconsciously and go a long way in determining if a sexual relationship will happen. It is therefore important to try and invite guests that share some of the same values and interests to your parties if you want to succeed. One party we used to attend interviewed perspective guests to see how they would fit the proverbial mold of their party. This has nothing to do with looks mind you it is personality that wins you entrance.
Although age is but a number in any relationship and attraction doesn’t usually rely on age much we find “A good balance of age groups” to be another key factor in planning and maintaining a decent party. People are usually attracted to other people who are generally in their age group, although this may vary a little with females in attendance and select others. Women tend to like older partners than men but again this may vary on a person to person basis. A party where age groups differ enormously and some guests will be unable to find anyone compatible with their age limits is highly unlikely to succeed.
So the question comes forth “How do we find a swinger party that we will have the most success at? Well there lies the problem it is impossible to predict which parties are going to have the right mix to make it work. The answer is to attend as many as possible. Compare them for their pros and cons. Accept the fact that some will be better than others and what may not be right for you may be right for someone else. Join online groups like the ones on Hedonist Lifestylez and ask others questions about clubs who have attended. When you ask make sure you only take the facts like “how many were there” Into consideration and then attend to form your own opinion. Just because one couple had a bad experience doesn’t make a club bad but when you do hear a high ratio of bad reviews it usually is true and that club or party should be avoided. We are actually in process of starting a club and party rating system for Hedonist Lifestylez and will be implementing it soon to help out swingers in finding the right venue for their activities.
As with any lists of observations on clubs or parties this one is not one hundred percent true at all times. Some parties and clubs are the exception to the rule although they are few in number. These parties succeed regardless of the above list of successful criteria. So like we said research before you attend and form your own opinions some of these venues can surprise you in either a good or bad way.

We felt it necessary to write a piece about lifestyle party events and what you should expect based on the countless emails from Hedoonline.com visitors, who've expressed interest attending and those who have attended these parties for some time now.
Off premise party promoters, work very hard to produce unique experiences for you-the lifestyle patron. Some cater to those who are new to the lifestyle, and some cater to a more “exclusive bunch”. Who are the “exclusive bunch” you ask?
The “exclusive bunch”, are specially chosen people who exude sexiness and are very uninhibited while attending lifestyle events. They have NO problem introducing themselves regardless of physical attraction. The exclusive bunch realize they've been provided a playground to explore with other couples and single females, and fully take advantage of every second they are there. They don't mind paying a higher premium to attend because they know only people who party like them are going to be in attendance-which only makes for a successful night of hedonistic fun. Hedoonline lets you know this by our ratings (4 and 5 stars). A party being officially Hedoonline certified means that if you were fortunate enough to be invited by a Hedoonline certified party promoter, you can expect to fully experience (within limits), all the things lifestyle events were made for. You will find only the sexiest, friendliest, and like-minded partygoers in attendance.
Though most promoters create themed events to enhance the party experience-at Hedoonline certified events—the people ARE the party.
To us here at Hedoonline.com it makes no difference whether you attend a certified event or not- a party is a party and assuming you've “let your hair down” a bit, just by showing up to the party, you should always think of being “FIRST”.
Be the first to introduce yourselves. Let's stop here for a sec. You know what's funny about this? Most people who support these parties see the same people in attendance over time and have never even said “hello”. They pretend not to notice each other, but continue to run into each other. Wow! This is part of the problem. Stop viewing everyone you see as potential playmates. They are just people—like you. Say ‘Hello” and move on. Hell, they maybe a good real estate agent or something, who knows?
Be first to hit the dance floor! Why wait? Show that you can be the life of the party. Everyone there-is there for the same reason. So you won't look foolish. Unless you have NO rhythm at all! Just have fun, damnit! LoL.
These parties are what you, the “lifestylee” make them. I don't care what the theme is: White Party, Halloween, Fishnet night, Sexy Heels…whatever. If all you do is stand around being apprehensive and judgmental -you would have gotten all dressed up for nothing…and paid top dollar to do so.
So go out and participate. Be first. Be the life of the party.
Be well. Be you.
Lola and Devon.
Our friends Lola & Devon are the owners of:
HedoOnline.com

It's a great day! The birds are chirping. The weather is spectacular. Your significant other is as wonderful in your eyes as they've ever been. And you both have the weekend all to yourselves. Seems like your lucky day. Even your horoscope says so. Why not check to see if there are any replies to the message you posted-letting others know you're available this weekend. And what do you find? A couple that is willing to meet you both….TONIGHT! But where oh where will the extra curricular activities take place? They've replied: “Would definitely love to meet you…can you host?” Damn, your previous postings were usually met with no replies, so you didn't quite plan for the positive response. Now what do you do? What needs to be considered? Why can't they host?-- You ask. Well, you've got something thinking to do.
Not everyone in the lifestyle actually spends exorbitant time thinking about how their play time session will pan out. Though, it is a good idea to do so from time to time. Some of us are “free for alls” who just go with the flow, so to speak-based on our living arrangements or the ability to finance our pleasure domains at a whim. But for some, money, family, and timing can inhibit our ability to fully realize our experiences when they are not planned carefully and in advance.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?.....
Unlike what is perceived about those in the lifestyle by the “vanilla conservatives ”, as being an irresponsible bunch of heathens, most of us are just everyday normal people with families, mortgages, and nosy neighbors, just like everyone else. We tend to care about our privacy and to protect our children from our own adult lifestyle endeavors and wouldn't want to mix the two-even if they are at grandma's for the weekend.
For others, this may not be a problem. “ Kids out of the way, so the adults can play ” is a welcoming proposition and should certainly not to be confused with being irresponsible. It's just a matter of personal choice between consulting adults. But if you do choose to host when the kids are absent-here are some little words of advice.
First, make sure you tell your guests that you do have children and to make sure they ARE at grandma's two states away. Last thing you want is to be in full “Play” mode when one of your kids walks in wearing Spiderman pajamas asking: “What are they doing to mommy?” And you have to explain to your kids that they were just dreaming the next morning. Good luck trying that with a twelve year old. (Has happened)

Also, warn your guests about any pets you might have. An out of control hair ball event caused by your cat can cause a quick exit—and your dog humping your guest's leg while you freshen up-is not the doggy style they expected. So be courteous and aware that all people may not take too kind to the “other” members of your family. Discussing the pets you have is also very important as many people have extreme allergies. For instance Lola is deathly allergic to cats and their dander and there is nothing that brings the libido to a halt than a swollen face, watery eyes and the inability to breathe. Needless to say, NOT SEXY.

LISTEN.
Consider getting to know the couple you'd like to play with a little better, before inviting them back to your place. This can be a tremendous way to find out what they like and what they don't like-helping you to prepare yourselves as great hosts. When you host, your guest should feel like the “red carpet” has been rolled out for them. Making your guest feel special, like picking up their favorite red wine or preparing a dish that they barely mentioned during your conversation is sexy foreplay! It shows that you have paid attention to detail and are considerate and passionate about making people feel good. Don't skimp on this… it's just good hospitality.

SNOOPERS

Hey, we've all done it. People will excuse themselves to use your bathroom and WILL check to see just what's in THAT medicine cabinet. Aside from making sure your bathroom is clean enough to eat in-remember to put away those creams and ointments that you don't really want to explain away. Having your guests suddenly come down with the flu after a quick bathroom visit is a good indication that you forgot. Which leads us to the obvious next suggestion. Make sure you don't need to use creams and ointments by being in good health. Yet, if you're in need of prescribed meds on this night. Reschedule your playtime. Please!!!!!!!

STAY OR GO

Assuming you've enjoyed a fun filled session with your good friends-it's late and now you're confronted with the question: “ Should we invite them to stay the night, or kindly urge them to get the hell up out of here? ” This needs to be established between you and yours BEFORE hand as to avoid one of you unexpectedly handing out the extra toothbrushes and robes. Hey some of us may be on borrowed time, so 4am is your cut off hour. For others, the consideration of a full night stay may not occur until you've crossed that bridge based on the tremendous time you had. Some of us can afford to just go with the flow and some can't. For those who can….preparation is key. Either way make certain both you and your spouse are on the same page prior to your guest's arrival.
RULES- WHAT RULES?

Some are fortunate to always have the ability to host and love doing so. Don't feel bad if you can't. It's about being honest and sharing fun times whenever and wherever the opportunity presents itself. Hopefully you seek to establish great friendships, which lead to great times. Once you all feel comfortable with one another-you all can establish your own rules of engagement. Just don't forget that respect, thoughtfulness, cleanliness, and creative ideas, go a long way in establishing yourselves as good hosts. We hope this little bit of fun advice helps some of you in your pursuit in becoming the host with the most.

Our friends Lola & Devon are the owners of:
HedoOnline.com